Your free tool this week: The Routine Builder. Start with how you want to feel at the end of the day. We build the routine backward from there.

Here's this week's confession. FashionSHEsta fills my days, but my evenings are a glass of wine and TikTok while my husband, Bob, watches The Diplomat. That is the full list of my routines.

For most of my life I thought routine was a cage. Something for people with clipboards and fewer plans.

Then there's Bob. He's a retired trooper, and he is structured. By 10 o'clock in the morning he has gotten more done than I manage in three weeks. His workout is finished. His errands are run. His day is set.

Bob's to do list is much longer than mine. However, he also has far more freedom than I do. Both things are true, and it took me a while to put them together.

His list gets done early, so the rest of the day belongs to him. Mine rarely gets done, so it follows me around. That's the procrastination loop. A routine closes that loop. The decision is already made, so the thing gets done and leaves your head. Routine isn't the cage. The loop is.

Routines are part of the Happiness side of S.H.E., along with Mindset and Relationships. They work because the win is already lined up. You do it whether or not you feel like it, and the good feeling shows up after.

When I'm overwhelmed, I open my journal and write: "By the end of today, I want to feel ___." A word or two. Sometimes it's proud of myself. Sometimes content, happy or accomplished.

Then I ask myself, what would need to happen today for me to feel that way? I look at my list and pick the one or two things I will do today, no matter what. The list changes every day. The question doesn't. When those things are done, the feeling shows up.

That's the routine. Ask the same question, at the same time, every day, and it stops being a negotiation. The Routine Builder helps you set yours up.

Style: Choose tomorrow's outfit tonight, right down to the shoes, handbag and accessories. Lay the whole look out together. One decision, made once, and your morning starts easier.

Happiness: Press play while you get dressed. A podcast you love or a playlist that lights you up, the same way every morning. By the time you're out the door, you're plugged in for the day.

Everyday life: When you empty last night's dishwasher in the morning, set tonight's dinner table at the same time. Dishes go from the dishwasher straight to the table, with the napkins and chargers. No putting away and getting it back out.

Routines are one of the three things that build Happiness. Happiness and Style are what we add to everyday things, and a routine is how you make that happen on purpose. When the small stuff runs on autopilot, you have room left for the good stuff. That's all S.H.E. is: a simple way to add a little style and happiness to the everyday.

Enjoy The Routine Builder, and let me know how it goes. Reply to this email, or tag me on INSTAGRAM

🥂
Regina